God's will

 2019, 31 Dec

Imperceptibly, already at the end of the year. it's time to do the evaluation in 2019. but it looks like I need help from others to be able to provide input for me. I think in 2019, I didn't do much for God or anyone else. however, many of my resolutions were not reached. so sad.

what's my resolution in 2019? I'm forget haha. let's remember that.

first, I want to bear fruit. Wow, so grateful. I just realized that! God, You are so good for me. 😭 You still gave me a good news and gave me a strange for my faith.

second, my resolution is i want graduate in 2019. but i'm not achieved this. very sad, and my college grades are also far from cumlaude. this is make me so sad and anger. haha. why i got anger, even though what i got is what i did. really want to blame the situation. but still actually I have chosen.

third, i want finish a whole bible. this is also not achieved. I cannot read so many verses in the Bible, when I am inconsistent and put a special time in each day.

fourth, to learn English. 😅 but but, God really loves me. God gave me the opportunity to do a presentation in front of foreign people and join many meetings and events in English. Want to cry and hide, want to escape it feels close to the schedule. but my leader always reminds me. haha. and accompany me. (sometimes i think, roughly what does cici think about my english skills.) for this i must learn.

yeah, many things happen. at first I thought that there were more failures and things that didn't work out. but after I wrote it down. I know, there are many things that I can be grateful for that God has done for me.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Romans 12:2 NIV

God taught me not to give up and blame the circumstances in times that were not according to my plan. I learn to be humble and more week. I learned to be more independent, God separated me from people whom I relied too much on (more than depend on God). But God still provides help and compassion through other people. this is make me broken heart. haha. but in the end I understood and was grateful. I can get to know many other disciples from various cities. I can spend a lot of my time with my family, because I'm stress and tired of anything. haha. Next year want to keep plenty of time for family but without things like that. I learn about my self, when i learn how to pursuit a holiness. there is a lot of good news too around me. whether it's about my group or friends or family. cannot write all in here.

God You are so good. Thank you for 2019. Thank you for called me 'friend' and never leave me alone.

According to this verse in Romans, the will of God is good, acceptable, and perfect.

Maybe, I think everything is chaotic and messy. My plan cannot be achieved. but maybe my plan is not according to God's will. year 2020. I want to learn and do God's will and please God so that God's name will be glorified.